1. Euphoria and wonder accompany you to the new place. Everything is different and exotic and you can't get enough of the constant stimulation of new experiences. There's always so much to do and seemingly not enough time to do it all. The language is intriguing and you want to learn more of it.
2. After the euphoria passes, anger takes over. Instead of noticing everything that's different from what you're used to, you notice things that are not the same. Those may sound alike but the feelings associated with the latter lead to homesickness and resentment. Trivial things trigger negative overreactions and the inability to communicate exactly what you want is beyond frustrating.
3. If staying for a longer period of time, the feeling of being stuck embodies the depression stage. You feel the hopelessness of knowing you won't be returning to the familiar for awhile and just dwell on the security and reliability of the environment you left behind. You think nothing will be able to make you happy for an extended period of time unless you go back home. You just don't want to be here anymore.
4. And finally, when things that were once foreign to you are becoming familiar, you cross over into acceptance. This can happen gradually or suddenly but the best analogy I've seen equates it getting into a warm bath after a rough day. You don't have to love it all, but you realize that things are the way they are, and sometimes, they even become endearing the more this place and culture become your home away from home.
Having moved to a few places abroad, I can personally vouch that this progression is more or less accurate. Though each location and experience yielded their own different progressions, as a whole, culture shock at some point always showed its faces. One thing I have made sure to keep in mind is that it is absolutely necessary to be flexible, be liquid. This mantra has made adjusting to new countries a thousand times easier than had I gone to them rigid with expectations that I would be living the same way as I did at home. If I were a liquid, I'd be mango juice.
As for homesickness, it's always there, but depending on the emotional roller coaster that is experiencing a new place, it varies in strength. I have been asked whether it gets easier each time I move to a new place, and honestly, I think the answer is no. Each place is different and each culture is initially unfamiliar. I still left my home behind and still missed out on life moving on without me there. But it does make it a little easier knowing that Stage 4 eventually comes, and the hopelessness from Stage 3 is lessened because of that.
My state of mind is incredibly important in coping, and when I catch myself wandering into anger, sadness, or longing, I try to center myself again by reminding myself that this was my choice, I came for certain reasons, and that I am in a remarkable and privileged position--able to live and work in a different country, learn another culture and language, become apart of a welcoming family and community, and still have my wonderful real family and life back home to support me. It's easy to forget these and to start taking everything for granted, and it's when this happens that you get lost in the downs because you're glazing over the ups.
That being said, here in Chile, I've been feeling a little more homesick than normal recently due to summer starting in Massachusetts, my family going to the Cape, an unfortunate case of fleas lovingly spread to me by my affectionate students, and missing seeing Kevin speak at his high school graduation last week. So I've been helping this with a few remedies for when I'm craving a little something more familiar, things I would do at home, including but not limited to talking to folks from home, watching The Office and Glee, keeping up with my sports news, taking rides on the bike, and planning my winter break (in July) travel.
But my favorite is eating food I love that I don't usually get around here. Go figure.
Nesquik
Peanut butter and anything. PB is super expensive here, about $6 for a tiny jar so it's not too common in the Chilean diet. My mom sent me a care package with a giant jar of Skippy. Creamy, of course. :)
Chinese food--kind of goes along with home-cooked meals. This wonderful goodness and my one biggest food longing here, I have to cook myself since the Chinese restaurants have adapted to the Chilean palete of salt, salt, and salt. I made this chow mein and garlic spinach lunch for my host family one Sunday, but I have to admit, it was mostly for me.
Thanks mom!!!
Aw! That's my girl. Very happy to see you learning and growing. Love, dad.
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